


this time . . . i'll be bulletproof

by ChauntelleKisses (orphan_account)



Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Raymond Kenney is a good boy, Spoilers, attempts at humor and fluff at the end, everyone else is just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 06:58:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11286057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ChauntelleKisses
Summary: Marcus has nightmares about what happened to Horatio.





	this time . . . i'll be bulletproof

This time he's there when the Tezcas try to take Horatio. He watches, glued to the cement, as they grab Horatio after a few taunts and stuff him in their shitty red van. The face of Luis Travino is painfully visible. As bad as he wants to save Horatio, his cries are hoarse and pointless. He's relived this moment with no change in the outcome, no matter how hard he tries. It's a cruel WWYD scenario that his mind keeps replaying when the nights are too quiet. He tries not to panic, but in his dreaming state everything is so vivid. He stares at the license plate as it passes, his mind generating a rusted one that reads '2 SLO'.

He could almost laugh at the cruelty of his own subconscious.

He screams instead.

\- - -

This time, Horatio gurgles out his name repeatedly. He doesn't say anything else. Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, he chants with his dying breath. It's the worst mantra he's ever heard. His name feels like a coffin, carrying what's left of his friend. The blood is making his hands wet, the tears are making his eyes wet, the carpet he's kneeling on is already wet. His voice is going to be dry when he calls Horatio's mother and tells her that her only son is dead because he did what he thought was right. Those words would be stronger, but now they decorate a tomb stone.

He won't speak at the funeral, his words wouldn't lift up anyone but Horatio himself.

There's no reason to lift up a name that's being buried.

\- - -

This time he wakes up whispering Horatio's name. It's worse than screaming it, because now he has an opportunity to pretend the nightmare didn't happen. That they haven't been. When he screams, Sitara brings him breakfast and talks too gently to him. T-Bone doesn't poke fun at him, those mornings; Josh is quick to change a subject that might lead to Horatio.

When he only whispers Horatio's name, no one else hears it.

It echoes for hours.

\- - -

This time, he doesn't realize the dream from this morning is still clinging to him like a wet blanket until he sniffles during a movie marathon with Wrench. They both turn to face each other and Wrench's surprised display of capital o's mirror Marcus' own wide eyes. It only takes a moment before Marcus remembers himself and he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, man, I didn't... It's not..." He realizes defending it is a losing battle when his words shake. Thankfully, Wrench lets it slide, though it clearly isn't the Time Warp musical number that has Marcus all worked up. Wrench sits a little closer for the rest of the movie, and if he takes off his vest so he can let Marcus lean against his shoulder then no one says anything.

Marcus tries not to feel like he's running away from the memory of Horatio.

He doesn't move for the rest of the film.

\- - -

This time, Marcus acknowledges there's a problem with having a nightmare every night in a week. He tries to work through his morning at HQ like nothing is wrong since he's promised himself he will make an appointment with a therapist after lunch. But he only makes to T-Bone's third beer of the day, which means 11am, before he cracks. He puts his phone down and tips the bill of his cap down to take a second to breathe.

T-Bone comes up to him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Son," he says like Marcus imagines his father would have if he'd been around, "let's take a ride."

Bertha is T-Bone's prized possession. He values it above his own phone, his safe houses, everything. He offers to let Marcus drive it, and despite his low mood, he accepts the keys.

It drives like a beauty, but looks like a beast. Marcus thinks this might be his first true love, and T-Bone laughs when he tells him so.

"Okay," the older hacker begins once Marcus is through terrorizing moms in the suburban areas, "tell me about this problem of yours."

Marcus' hands tighten on the wheel and he develops a tic in his jaw, but T-Bone doesn't push and doesn't rush, and in another mile he feels ready to talk. "It's Horatio," he says, and if his voice breaks then they don't acknowledge it.

"I understand that feeling of guilt, son." And how could he not? Marcus remembers hearing about the black out on the news, remembers the death toll plastered everywhere, attached to Raymond Kenney's good name. Eleven people hanging over his head, the old man had more than enough guilt of his own. He asks, "have you tried making amends?"

"How can I make up for a life?" Marcus opens his mouth to continue, but he sucks in a breath through his teeth instead.

T-Bone shakes his head. "You don't. You can't. But you try. And that's where the magic happens, kid. You try to be better, you be better for the people who had been better than you, and you don't fuck up twice. That's what you do."

Marcus nods like he understands, but he's still considering the words. "Where should I start?"

"His family." T-Bone turns to look at Marcus and has a rarely-serious expression on. "Thanksgiving is coming up. I'm sure his mother doesn't want to spend it in an empty house."

Marcus has critical, doubtful words bubbling up, but he swallows them down. He knows better than to lash out at friends in his pain, and its his guilt making him feel like he has a debt he can't pay.

T-Bone continues, sensing this to some extent. "I would invite her over to our HQ. DedSec is full of party monsters, but I'm sure no one minds cleaning up to host something. You feel?"

Marcus nods. "I just don't want to force my presence on her, y'know?"

"She doesn't blame you, Marcus. She's lost her son, not her reason. Enough time has passed, now you need to swallow your guilt, puff out your chest, and pretend to be as okay as you need to be right now so you can pull yourself together. I'm sure you think back to the incident all the time and think that you could have been faster or something. You'll tear yourself apart like that. Accept the past and work towards your future. It's time."

Marcus swallows hard as he considers T-Bone's words. He turns onto the street of their HQ, but T-Bone points down to a parallel road. "We're gonna need some wine if we're gonna host dinner. And I could always go for more-"

"Beer, I got it."

"More smartasses to cut me off, is what I was gonna say."

Marcus offers a shit-eating grin in apology, to T-Bone's exasperation. The younger man parks the beast of the car by the supermarket. "Thanks, T-Bone, I really think your advice has-"

"No. No, you cannot take Bertha out for a spin with Wrench."

"But he won't believe you let me drive it this time if I don't take him out in it."

"When did I let you drive it?"

"You- but- we just... That's damn cold, man."

T-Bone grins and holds his hand out for the keys so he could go into the store. "Now you've got something else to angst over.


End file.
